I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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