my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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