it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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