Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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