Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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