You really coming over, don't trick.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
