bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
