i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
