Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
