Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
