a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
