Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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