he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
