This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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