how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize