is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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