were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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