Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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