I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
