ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Shame - the story of my life.
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