I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize