there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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