i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
