Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
where are my eyebrows?
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