I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
40s are totally the cure
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
