yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
