So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
