My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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