You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
