thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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