If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
