I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
