My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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