I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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