this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
