im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
