My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
