would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
