i think i have two assholes
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
