He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
