yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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