OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
love makes seman taste better
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
