accomplished twins. life is a go
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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