I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize