your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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