We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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