should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
