You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
