remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This is not my ceiling
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
