Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
