I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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