I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
