everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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