Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize