You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
