I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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