dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it was like eating out sand paper
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
