Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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