do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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