Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I want to fling myself into the sun
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
