if i can run in heels then i can drive
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
