he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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