You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
