Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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