I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
