My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
third nipple confirmed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
