butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize