she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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