You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
