Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
